By Matthew McVickar on Flickr

Have you ever built up walls around yourself to hide who you really are? Have you put up a front just to try to make people think that you are better than you really are? I have. Over and over. And I think I’m not alone in this. I want to share a little of my experience of the past few weeks with you, dear readers, but first I need to give you some background.
I was raised as a Christian. So for me, conversion didn’t happen suddenly one day. It was more like the sunrise in the north–slow, gradual, gentle. As a young teenager, I had a passion to know God’s will for my life.

Now, I had ups and downs even then, but after I became an adult, they became even more pronounced. Habits that I had formed in my youth began to bear fruit in my adulthood–fruit of which I was not proud. At times I hated myself for being the way that I was, at the same time desperately trying to build a wall that would make me look good to those around me. I did not want anyone to be lost because of me. So I tried to be a good example on the outside. On the inside, however, I was a mess. And it just kept getting worse.

And then there were times of revival. I would get disgusted with my life and would read about Jesus and feel drawn to Him. But it never lasted. Old habits die hard, and unless they are given up entirely will often come back to haunt one.

So a few weeks ago, I was in a real mess. I have been seeing my bad character traits mirrored in my children–especially my 4-year-old daughter. It’s one thing to get frustrated once in a while and bang something and just yell at everyone to “just leave me a lone!” It’s another thing to see one’s daughter doing the same thing. It was a sort of wake-up call for me.

But I was afraid. I had tried so many times before, and every time I had failed. You know what I mean? You say, “This time, Lord, it’s for real. This time I’m going to go all the way.” And then a few weeks–or days, or hours–later, you are right back where you started–or worse off than before. Well, that’s where I was. I was trying to dull the pain by a series of obsessive actions, I guess you could call them. I would get a book from the library, and then couldn’t put it down until it was done. You know, a big, long book that should take a week or two to read. I’d finish it off in a day and a half and go back for another one. I wasn’t getting anything done except basic meals and dishes and sort of the laundry. Then I’d get disgusted at my laziness and try to change. Then it was something else. And then something else. And all the while my children were suffering from my neglect.

After a while I realized that I had to do something. I had to talk to someone. I didn’t know who to talk to. My husband was showing evidence of the stress, and I didn’t feel like talking to him about it. I wanted to talk to another woman. An opportunity came up one night and I talked to a mature Christian lady about what I was feeling. She loaned me a couple of books, which helped some, but I think she missed what was really going on inside. Not that I blame her. I didn’t even understand what was going on.

I can’t say that I fully understand even now, but I am beginning to. What I have learned over these past few weeks is what I want to share with you. I am going to break it up into several posts and post it throughout this next week. And don’t think this has nothing to do with Christmas. It does. As we near Christmas, we need to remember the Reason for the Season. Jesus came as a baby; that’s what we’re celebrating this time of year. But He came for a reason. That’s what I’m going to be writing about.

And just maybe something I say will strike an answering chord in your heart and be a blessing and a help to you. If so, my purpose in writing this series has been achieved.

Here is my first guest post for a long time. They very graciously tweaked the post to reflect my passion for homeschooling, which I know many of my readers share. Please give me your feedback; if you enjoy this post, I may have more from them in the future.

The ABC, 123 exercises are wrapped up, the children are napping and you’re wondering, “What else needs to be done?” These moments are perfect for stealing a little time just for you. Pick a 5, 10 or 15 minute solution or create your own.

• In five minutes, you can wipe off a small to-do list item and get real gratification and calm knowing it’s complete. For example, as thank-you notes or birthday greetings pile up, steal five minutes to write your loved one a nice card. Doing this will remind you of what really matters and at the same time relieve some of the pressure that can come with a growing list of to-do’s.
• Stealing 10 minutes to catch up with a friend on the phone can be very relaxing and give you a chance to feel connected, understood and considered. Be sure to manage expectations among your family members and let them know in advance that you are taking a private phone call with a friend you haven’t spoken to in awhile.
• 15 minutes of me-time can do a whole lot of good for the mind and body. Try escaping to a quiet room and read your favorite book. Make this time truly special, nurture yourself with a cup of your favorite tea and snuggle up in your favorite chair under a warm light.

It might not sound like very much, but taking an “all-about-you” timeout from deadlines and activities will give you more energy when daytime routines demand your full attention. Remember, taking care of yourself is taking care of your family too. You will feel relaxed, refreshed and ready to help your children with any challenges they are having, personally or with their homeschooling activities.

This is a guest post from Kumon, the world’s largest after-school math and reading enrichment program that unlocks the potential of children so they can achieve more on their own. Connect with us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/kumon or Twitter at www.twitter.com/KumonNAmerica.

The other day we got a Highlights High Five magazine in the mail. Inside there were instructions for making a “curly crown.” I decided to let Gislaine do as much of the work as she was capable of doing. That meant all I did was fold the paper and show here where to cut, draw stars for her to color (since we’re out of stickers at the moment), and later do the final fitting. She did everything else. Here’s the result:

Gislaine made it all by herself

I know I haven’t been posting much here lately. Last month was supposed to be tofu month, but all I did was refer you to the post I did on making tofu–never posted any recipes. Sorry! I’m taking a little break from blogging for the most part and trying to get my eBay business figured out. Yes, a friend of mine got me started selling stuff on eBay. I need to get things organized and budget my time so that it doesn’t consume me.

So January will be tofu month. I promise! And in the mean time, I have a guest post in the works that will be coming out on Thursday, so watch for that. And I’ll try to make a post now and then between now and January. Encouragement will make it more likely, so please let me know if you miss my posting here. Thanks!