I think I have finally figured out the secret to parenting.

Okay, when I say “figured it out,” I don’t mean that I have a 100% perfect understanding of it. But I think I have enough of a concept to apply it and to share it.

And it wasn’t my original discovery. It comes from the book Parenting Your Infant/Toddler by the Spirit by Sally Hohnberger. And “it” is the parenting pyramid.

In my own words, this pyramid means that God is at the top, desiring to communicate to my child and me. Because I am the parent, I need to open up the lines of communication–two-way communication. I need to make sure my heart is fully surrendered in the moment. And let me tell you, lack of surrender on our part is a big reason why we fail to bring our children to true obedience. Just try making a child obey cheerfully by yelling at them!

The second aspect is that God also wants to communicate directly to the child. However, the rebellious, tantrum-throwing two-year-old isn’t listening. So we as the parent, now surrendered to the Lord, will communicate to them, and direct them to listen to what God is saying to them. Then we lead them to surrender as well. Once they surrender, the lines of communication are open between both parent and child and God and child.

Now, that’s good in theory, but let me make this practical with some illustrations from my life today.

It was time to pick up the toys and get ready for worship. But neither of my children wanted to pick up the toys. Manny tried to throw a tantrum and Gislaine started to cry. Because I couldn’t deal with them both at once, I sent Gislaine to her room and told her to wait until I called her. Then I told Manny that he needed to surrender his heart to Jesus and put the toys away. I said, “Let’s pray,” but he jerked in defiance. So I took his hand and said, “We need to go for a run.” We ran the length of the house and back. Then I knelt again and asked him to pray with me. He knelt, folded his hands, and closed his eyes. Then he repeated after me. “Dear Jesus, please help me to put my toys away happy. Amen.” Then I showed him the toy, and repeated my instruction. He put it away. At first he was just compliant–putting it away under protest. But as I directed him to put more and more away, his heart softened until by the time he was done, he was a cheerful, happy little boy. And Daddy noticed later, after I had gone to the gym, that he was the happiest, most obedient, surrendered little boy that he had been for a long time, and commented on it to me when I got back.

Once he was busy putting his toys away, I called his sister out. We knelt and I led her in a similar prayer. Then I asked her, “What is Jesus saying to you?” She said, “To obey.” That just warmed my heart! Jesus was speaking to my precious daughter, and she recognized His voice! I said, “That’s right. Now please put the dolly’s bed away.” And she did. She also helped her brother put some things away. And she was happy when it was over.

And so was I!

Yes, it took extra time to do it, but the end result was happiness for everyone, and peace in the home.

Yes, this is the secret: a connection with God, listening for His direction, and following His guidance. Most of the time, we won’t know for sure if the ideas that come to our minds are from Him or not, but we are to test the spirits, and move forward in faith. But being surrendered ourselves–to take our toddler’s hand for the grizzly run (because they are too young to run by themselves), even when we don’t feel like running–makes all the difference. Because we certainly cannot bring our child to surrender if we are not surrendered ourselves!

I’m reading this book through for the second time. I can’t say I’ve read enough recently to do a proper review of it, but I would still highly recommend it. And all the other books in the series.

When it comes to child training, what should I consider as obedience? I found this definition on Revive Our Hearts yesterday, and I just had to share it.

Obedience is doing exactly what I’m told to do, when I’m told to do it, with the right heart attitude.

Can you think of a better definition? I sure can’t. It’s all-inclusive. I’d encourage you to go and listen to the radio broadcast in the link above, or read the transcript. It takes this definition apart and applies it to our Christian walk.

But how much we parents need to remember this definition when we are training! Is my son obeying when he says “No” as he comes to me, or as he picks up the spilled Rice Chex? Obeying under protest is not obedience. It’s rebellion. Is my daughter obeying me when I tell her to drink her water and 15 minutes later, after many promptings, she finally finishes it?

I need to call my children to a higher standard. And for so long I haven’t. I have let my selfishness get in the way of real child training.

Lord, help me to redeem the time!

I was listening to Revive our Hearts yesterday, and the speaker quoted from the book The Life of Helen Keller. After describing the scene where Anne Sullivan taught Helen to eat like a civilized creature (if you’ve seen either of the “Miracle Worker” movies, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about; if not, either watch one or read the book!), Anne goes on to say something very profound:

I saw clearly that it was useless to try to teach Helen language or anything else until she learned to obey me. I thought about it a great deal, and the more I think, the more certain I am that obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the child.

I don’t know how to improve on that, so I’ll just recommend that you read it again, 2 or 3 times, and let its meaning really sink in.

Yesterday I had a battle with Manny. Not near as big as Anne had with Helen, but it was something. Lately he has not wanted to eat any cereal except the chocolate-covered “Koala Crisps” (which are gluten-free and actually have nothing he is allergic to in them, which is why I buy them and give them to him occasionally). Trying to get him to eat anything else for supper is a battle. So last night I decided to try something different.

When I offered him the food, I told him clearly that he had a choice to make. He could either choose to eat cheerfully, or he could stand in the corner. He hates standing in the corner, by the way. But he chose not to eat, so by default he chose the corner. I put him there and worked nearby, watching him closely. If he turned around and looked at me, I would remind him to put his nose in the corner. Of course this made him cry again, but I persisted. I started him out at 2 minutes, then offered to let him eat. When he said no, I went 2 1/2 minutes. Then 3 minutes. Then 3 1/2. Each time I offered him the food, showing it to him, and letting him choose between eating and the corner. He tried to interject other options, like “nigh nigh” (going to bed), but I would not allow those options.

I am not sure how long it took, but we were up to 5 minutes between choices, and finally he chose to eat. He said, “Eat, eat,” so I put him in his chair, poured hemp milk on the puffed millet that I had coated with carob powder, and offered him the spoon. He ate the whole thing cheerfully, and was delighted to get some grapes afterwards!

Not only was this a great victory, but Daddy noticed later that evening that he was more compliant and less demanding. I think I have hit on something here.

The truth is, I have been very neglecting of my child training lately. But I have also neglected my walk with the Lord. In the past few weeks, I have been going through a period of revival, which always results in reformation if it is genuine. And this week the Lord convicted me that it was time to start working on my child training. I have been praying for wisdom, because Manny has some serious issues, and he’s too young to reason with, and I let some things get too far. But thanks to this victory yesterday, I am beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

But it’s a very long tunnel! At least, it feels like it! But God is my guide, and I know I will win as long as I remain with Him.

I think one of the most annoying things on earth is a screaming toddler when his will has been crossed. Kind of like a siren, only it’s right in your ear. People stop and stare at you. You just know they are thinking all kinds of judgmental thoughts about you, like, “Why can’t that mom get her kid under control.” (More than likely, they’re probably thinking, “I’m glad that’s not my kid!”–not that that is any better.) And all you can think is, “I just wish I could make my baby stop crying!!!”

But now there is hope! I have learned a method that, if used consistently, will help teach a child self-control so that you don’t have to make a spectacle of yourself every time you have deny him something he wants. It’s not an overnight fix, but it with consistency it can make your life much easier!

First, though, I want you to watch this video, where I describe the technique and give a few cautions. An outline is available below for those who prefer to have things written down–or in case you want to print it.

Here are the main points:

• Don’t use on a tiny baby or on a child who is hurt or has a real need
  • Newborns cry for legitimate needs–meet their needs!
  • Use for older babies and toddlers who are crying because their will was crossed
  • Don’t use on children over 3 years old–time outs and reasoning are better for that age
• Start using this method at home; don’t start in public
  • It will take longer initially, then shorter each time
  • Be consistent at home; that will make it easier to deal with away from home
  • Later, when child surrenders quickly, you could use this in public to avoid attracting so much attention
• The method:
  • Hold them, restraining arms if necessary
  • Cover mouth with your hand as they cry out
  • Do NOT cover their nose
  • Remove hand when they breathe in
  • Repeat as needed
  • Remain calm throughout (frustration feeds the child’s negative emotions)
  • Talk soothingly to them
  • Continue until they surrender–never give up before they surrender!
• This method teaches the child self control, laying the foundation of a very valuable character trait

Something I didn’t mention in the video is that if you asked the child to do something and he started screaming, you can use this method to calm him, but be sure to bring the first issue back around, repeating as needed until he submits.

With that introduction, here is the video demonstration of the method with my son. Please note that it is short because I had been using it frequently for 2 or 3 days prior to making the video. It will not be this short the first time you try it!

Works for me! Any questions?

If I had thought of it, I would have put Potty Training My Son as one of my goals to be reached by the end of this year, if possible. I mean, he turns two this month, so that is not an unrealistic goal.

With my daughter, I would try putting her on the potty off and on every few months, and suddenly she started telling me when she was wet, then when she was almost wet, then with time to take her potty… I put panties on her at 19 months.

My son is a whole different story! Partly because of his eczema, I gave up on the infant potty training I was doing with him from early on (about 2 weeks old), and because we had carpet I didn’t want to experiment with it too much. Also we were in limbo–not sure when or where we would move. Now we are stable, buying a house, have hard floors in every room except the office, and I got crazy brave and decided to try it this week.

I figured it was worth a try. I’m not going to push it if he doesn’t show progress by the end of the week. But he seems to be aware of his bodily functions. He has come up to me a few times, patting his bottom and saying “poo poo.” If he sees pee, he will mention it. I have been talking about “pee pee diapers” when I change him, and “poo poo diapers” too.

Yesterday, I let him run around sans diaper for a couple of hours. During that time, I netted about 3 piles of poo and a few more wet spots. Because of course he would never do it while sitting ON the potty–always had to wait for about 30-60 seconds after getting up! Fortunately my to-do load was light, so I just talked about it to him and cleaned up. (Thank goodness for a steam mop to help clean up!!)

Today, I decided to put him on the potty this morning after he had finished breakfast while I swept around the kitchen and living room. I gave him a book and let him entertain himself while I cleaned. As I was cleaning up the piles I had swept up, I heard him saying, “Pee pee, pee pee.” I figured he must have gone and went to investigate.

We picked this potty specifically because of the extra-high pee guard. But there are limits to even the tallest of those. Such as when a boy decides to see what that thing is that spends so much time hiding under his diaper–and decides to pee at the same time!

There was pee on the book–the open book. There was pee on the floor. There was pee down his pajama legs. There was pee on the front of the potty. And, wonder of wonders, there was actually pee inside the potty, too! Roughly 1/4 inch, I think. So I grabbed a shammy (the best things for soaking up puddles–I need to get more of them!) and wiped down all wet spots, then rewiped with wet cloth. Then I took my now naked boy (since his one-piece PJ’s were now wet) to the bathroom with the container of pee to ceremoniously flush it down the toilet. He got to pour it in and flush, and he loved it. I didn’t scold him for the mess, just reminded him with a smile that “pee pee goes in the potty” and whisked him off for the bath that he would have taken anyway even if he hadn’t made a big mess.

Day 2 of attempted potty training has begun. So wish me luck!

Okay, this post is not for me. My son is almost two.  I am writing this for the author of a blog that I follow who just had a baby a few days before Christmas, and now she is starting to feel overwhelmed as hubby goes back to work, mom goes home, etc. She asked on Twitter if any of her followers had blog posts on the topic of surviving with a toddler and a newborn, and since then all kinds of ideas have been flooding through my mind. Of course, since my second is almost 2, I figure I am an expert on the topic (hahaha), so here is my advice, for what it’s worth:

Prioritize

I know that sounds hard to do right now. But take 5 minutes when the baby is asleep and toddler is happily coloring or playing with dollies or something that will keep her attention for that long, and decide what is really important. Spotless floors? Dream on! Making sure mother and all minors are fed? Absolutely. Making sure they get nutritionally balanced, gourmet meals? Forget it! If they get Cherrios & milk for breakfast, PB&J sandwiches for lunch, and takeout for dinner for a month, you can consider yourself a good mother! Hubby can fend for himself for at least the first month! Of course, the newest arrival will be getting nourishment from Mommy or a bottle, so make sure you keep taking those prenatals!

Seriously, though, decide what is absolutely essential to making sure the house doesn’t cave in. Things like meals, laundry (as much as you’d like to skip this–though intensive stain removal can go on the back burner now), dishes (get paper plates & bowls to make this part easier), and sleep (not necessarily in that order). Then stick to it, and only add in things as you have energy (notice I didn’t say time–energy!)

Simplify

I alluded to this in the previous section, but you really should simplify things as much as possible. When clothes get scarce, throw a load in and wash it. Don’t sweat the baby poop stains around the legs of the onsies. They will come out well enough when you have time to put them on the line later. Stock up on frozen dinners, rice-a-roni, sandwich makings, cold cereals, quick hot cereals (this time of year hot food is nice, and oatmeal only takes a few minutes to make), fresh veggies for munching (avoid broccoli, cauliflower, and cabbage if you’re nursing–though if your toddler likes them, have some handy for her!), pasta and pasta sauce, and take-out menus of all your favorite places–especially the ones that deliver. The less you have to think about right now, the more time you will be able to spend recuperating and enjoying your precious children.

Nap When You Can

I know they always say, “Sleep when the baby’s sleeping.” With one, that was easy. With two, it seems almost impossible! It took a while, but eventually I was able to get my two to sleep for at least half an hour at the same time. To be honest, I usually tried to get things done then, but I wish I had taken more time to rest–even if I couldn’t sleep. Hindsight is 20/20, and lack of sleep contributed to some very difficult times for me later (especially since my son had severe eczema, and that was emotionally draining for me, and even more so because I was sleep deprived).

There is a lot of conflicting advice about co-sleeping, but I did it with both of mine for the first few months, and that really helped me get more sleep. It can also be helpful at naptime. By 2-3 weeks baby should be able to handle nursing lying down, and it allows you to relax more than sitting would. If you just can’t fall asleep for worrying that you would roll over on the baby, get a co-sleeper thingy. There are different styles available; one kind slides under the mattress and hangs over the side of the bed; the other kind lays on the bed, but has soft sides that come up to keep baby safe. It’s worth looking into. At 3 or 4 months you should be able to transition baby into sleeping by himself (especially if he does that during the day already).

Cut Down or Eliminate Caffeine

I know it seems like caffeine is your friend, but it’s not. If you are nursing, you are passing it to your baby (which means he’s going to be more hyper), and you’re taking away from tomorrow’s energy reserves to get through today.

When I was a child, I had this kid’s book about health that had a picture of a couple of tired horses trying to pull a heavy carriage up a steep hill. They were giving it their all, and yet the driver was whipping them to make them go faster. And it told me that is what caffeine does to us. Maybe that’s why I never touched the stuff. And let me tell you, it’s not because I never felt like I needed it. There were days I wished I had some around! But overall, it’s much better for everyone to avoid it.

Ask for Help

They say children are meant to be raised in a village. If you were Amish, the neighbors would be over mopping your floors, weeding your garden (if it were summer), doing your laundry, and bringing you home-cooked meals–without you having to ask anyone for anything. But we don’t live like that anymore. Nowadays you have to ask for help. And that is hard on our pride sometimes. But the sooner you do it, the better off you will be.

The first place I would look if you don’t have family nearby is your church. A good church is like a second family. Call the head deaconess or the pastor and ask for help. You will probably need to be specific: “I would like someone to come once a week for the next month and a half to mop my floors and do some important cleaning like toilets and vacuuming major walkways; also, a few home-cooked meals would be lovely!” If anyone in your church has kids your toddler’s age, see if they would be willing to come pick her up once or twice a week in the morning for a playdate to let you take a nap while the baby sleeps and not have to worry that the toddler is getting into something.

Watch Your Coping Mechanisms

For me, adding a second child was not as hard as watching that child slowly develop a severe case of eczema. It was draining for me. By the time he was 7 or 8 months, he was a very miserable baby and I was about to have an emotional breakdown. I found myself trying to cope by watching movies and playing games on Facebook. Looking back, I wish I had looked for other ways to cope, because all I did was hide from my problems while they got bigger and more overwhelming.

Now don’t get me wrong. A good movie now and then is not the issue. It’s 3 movies a day while I ignored everything around me. I wish I had taken more of that time to get down on my knees and plead for strength to get through the rest of the day, claiming promises like Isaiah 40:29-31. I wish I had taken the time to read good devotional books and other good literature instead of letting Hollywood fill my mind with useless trash.

So there you have a few ideas. I hope it helps you and anyone else who finds this post.

By Melissa Toledo on Flickr

This week Sarah at Sarah’s Heart’s Home and I are discussing Quiet Time Ideas for Toddlers. A couple of days ago I listed a few ideas to keep preschoolers from being bored. A few of those ideas could work for toddlers as well, so I’m not going to repeat those here.

Maybe I should clarify that by “toddlers” I mean from the age the kid starts walking (sometime around 1 year old) until about 3 years old. By 3 years old, they aren’t really “toddlers” anymore, and then we call them preschoolers, I guess. I’m still trying to figure this all out! So there will probably be some overlapping of age groups in these ideas.

At this age, most kids still take a nap or two every day, so that is probably my favorite thing for them to do! However, my 3 1/2 year old only takes naps sporadically now–unless I wake her up early, in which case she will probably sleep for at least an hour, if not two, in the afternoon. But I can’t rely on this anymore.

One idea that come to mind is books. My daughter has “quiet time” in the morning before breakfast, where she looks at Bible story books quietly. Sometimes we let her use the computer (we don’t have a CD player right now) to listen to one of her books read out loud. This time will later evolve into personal devotions as she grows older.

I’m not terribly full of ideas, but I have rounded up a few sites, and I think they will be able to give you some more ideas. Sorry I’m not more creative, but I’m writing this before we move (because I won’t have time to get it done on time after the move), and my brain just isn’t very creative right now.

Here’s a list of a number of activities.
This post has a few ideas. It’s written from the perspective of a day-care, but could work for anyone.
This article is like a step-by-step guide for toddler quiet time. Definitely worth perusing.
This list of activities isn’t necessarily for quiet time, but it was so good I just had to include it. Many of the ideas could be adapted for quiet time.

Check back in two weeks when Sarah and I share a day in our lives. In the mean time, check back every day for other regularly scheduled posts, and other updates on my life.

This article is taken from the Raising Godly Tomatoes website, written by L. Elizabeth Krueger. It is not part of the book. You can find the full article here. Here is what she says about involving the children in your day. That way they won’t have time to think about being bored (see yesterday’s post).

By laurelbethyw on Flickr

Rather than trying to keep my children entertained all day, I believe that I should be training them on a minute-by-minute basis toward the goal of becoming godly adults. What better way than to include them as much as is possible in whatever I am doing, so they will learn to live as I do? I try to find ways so that even the little ones can help me, but it is also good for them to learn to just watch and listen, as well.

Sewing is a good example. I often sew or type with a baby on my lap and a toddler playing with my button box on the floor next to me. Slightly older children can help by cutting out patterns or they can play with my scraps. At eleven years old, my daughter could do much of the actual sewing and ironing, and we would be able to finish a dress in half the time by working as a team. It was also a lot more fun than trying to give her a “sewing lesson”. We just treat sewing like any other chore we need to get done, and we try to enjoy all our chores.

I try to treat everything else similarly. As I go about my day, I try to especially include the younger children in the things I am doing. If I’m in the kitchen, I will call the six year old to unload the dishwasher and the eight year old to help with the actual cooking and clean up. The two and three year olds climb up on the stools at the counter and watch (I never have to call them). They love to lick bowls and munch on scraps of things I am making.

Same thing when I’m working in the yard. I might give the younger ones a garden tool to dig with, or I’ll set them to work collecting the weeds I’m pulling, and throwing them out for me. Of course there’s always lots the older ones can do.

Dad does the same thing. He includes the children in his office work by giving them any job they can handle, often with the older ones teaching the younger. All except the babies are taught to run the fax machine, make copies on the copier, work the computers and calculators, type, file, etc. ( Our oldest, Shane, at thirteen, handled all the computer support work for our in-home office as well as our out-of-home, five-person business office.) This is all done informally by simply including them in Dad’s work. The children take turns accompanying Dad to business meetings whenever possible. If Dad is not home all day, as is the case in most families, he can include them in what he does when he is home; mowing the lawn, taking care of the car, fixing things, handling the family finances, etc. In everything we do, it is an opportunity to teach godliness to our children.

BEWARE of doing all the work yourselves and letting your kids play all day so they can “enjoy their childhood.” This will only result in a adult who is self-centered and lazy, and has a “the world owes me a living” attitude. When people hear the term “spoiled” in regard to a child, they often laugh and think of it as a temporary thing that can be sort of cute at times. Nothing could be more backward. When I used to own and ride horses, I often heard the term “spoiled” in regard to a particular type of animal. In the horse world, this was never cute. A spoiled horse was one whom BAD TRAINING HAD RUINED PERMANENTLY!

Deuteronomy 6:7   -  “And you shall teach them (God’s laws) diligently to your sons, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

By 55Laney69 on Flickr

One thing I have realized as a parent is that having your child’s heart is essential. You can train them until you are blue in the face, but if you don’t have their heart, you just breed rebellion in them. I recently read a post on this topic on another blog that I keep up with, and I want to share with you a short excerpt from the post Do You Have Your Child’s Heart:

The answer to nearly all child training questions is, you must have your child’s heart.  What exactly does this mean and how do we gain our child’s heart?

Proverbs 23:26 says it most like I’ve worded it,

My son, give me thy heart; And let thine eyes delight in my ways.

. . . This concept of having your children’s heart is vast and complex and I don’t pretend to have or know all the answers. . . . I believe the rewards of faithfulness in this area are most evident as your children get older and become more independent, but there are signs of success or failure early on.  A parent who is paying attention will know if they have their child’s heart.

Please go read the whole article. You will be blessed!

Today I’m starting a new theme with another mom: 2 Moms Discuss. We will be doing this feature every other week on Wednesdays. This week we are discussing Preparing for a New Baby. See what Sarah has to say at Sarah’s Heart’s Home.

When I thought about doing this topic, I thought it would be easy. Until I made an outline. I am sure I won’t be able to cover half of what I would like to, but we’ll see.

There are three general ways we can prepare for a baby: physically, mentally or emotionally, and spiritually. I want to discuss a little of all three ways.

Physical Preparation

Before the baby arrives, you will need to make sure you have all the accessories you need. Unless you plan on co-sleeping, you’ll need a crib. If you’ve had a baby before, then you probably already have one. Clothes are another thing you’ll need. It is helpful to have enough outfits for the first six months on hand, because you probably won’t have much time or energy to go out and buy any right away. If you aren’t having a baby shower before the baby comes, you will need to assemble these things beforehand. If the baby shower comes before, then you can look at what you have and fill in the gaps. Also, think about other things you will need for the first month. Here is a good list to get you started.

You might also want to discuss names beforehand. Although you don’t have to have a name ready at birth, you might not have the energy to think about it for a while afterwards. I met a lady once with a month-old baby that was still unnamed! I don’t know about you, but I don’t ever want that to happen to me!

Another way you can prepare is to stay in shape as much as possible. Of course, this does not mean you continue training for a marathon! It takes a lot of energy to “cook” a baby, so resting is important. But so is light physical exercise. Your doctor or midwife will probably give you a list of prenatal exercises. Do them. I wish I had, and I’m going to do my best to do them next time around! Also, walk a little every day. A mile or two at a gentle pace would not be amiss. I have a hard time with this, because I have back and hip problems that are exacerbated by pregnancy, and walking makes them even worse, but I found that with regular chiropractic, I was able to walk at least a little (around the yard) with my second pregnancy, and I was in much better shape as a result.

Another way to prepare is cooking ahead of time. Make meals and freeze them. Then you’ll have something to eat when the baby has been nursing all morning and you’re just too worn out to face the kitchen! Also stock up on healthy snack items, like crackers, dry cereal, dry fruit, canned foods, soups, and the like. That way you will be able to get something to eat even when you don’t have time or energy to fix a meal. It’s cheaper to fix food ahead of time than to buy frozen meals, and the ones you make are healthier too.

Also, make sure you have someone around for the first week or two to help out. This might be your husband, if he can take paternity leave, or your mother or mother-in-law. It could even be a neighbor or church member that lives nearby. In any case, you shouldn’t have to do anything in the way of cooking, cleaning, or taking care of other kids for at least a week, so make sure you have help. Don’t be ashamed to ask for it! My midwife wouldn’t even let me carry my son for the first 2 days. I could walk, but I had to get someone else to carry him, then hand him to me after I sat down. This was good advice, and I’m glad my Mom was around to help me out!

Mental/Emotional Preparation

If you have children already, you will want to help them prepare for the new arrival. You can do this in a number of ways. When I was pregnant with my son, once I was showing, a started talking about the baby that was growing in Mommy’s tummy. When he started kicking enough to feel from the outside, I would put her hand on my tummy so she could feel the baby. We also talked about how much fun it would be to have a new baby. This helped a lot, I think, to prepare her for her brother’s arrival. When he showed up, she loved him and wanted to hold him all the time. Her not being jealous was a real blessing during those first few weeks!

One thing I wish I had done—and will do next time, is to work on discipline issues before the baby arrives. Let’s put it this way: the younger the child is, the easier it will be. And even though it seems like we have no energy during pregnancy, we will have even less after the baby comes. Not to mention time! If you have taught your children to obey the first time, life will be much easier on you when the new baby comes!

It is also good to take some time before the baby comes to establish priorities for after the birth. Think about things like your devotional life, a clean house, home-cooked meals, time with friends, etc. Do this before the baby arrives, because it will be harder to think rationally during those first few days. This is one thing that it would be good to discuss with your husband, too. He can help you see things better, and also help enforce your decisions after the baby comes!

And finally, accept what you can’t change. You’ve gained weight. It may or may not come off quickly after the birth. Stressing about this will only aggravate it.

Your husband isn’t perfect either. Now is not the time to change him. Of course, you will never be able to change him, but especially now just focus on accepting him for who he is.

Maybe you have a small house, or some other thing that you aren’t satisfied with. If so, learn to accept it. Your circumstances will probably change at some point, and even if they don’t, a cheerful attitude is better than a negative one.If all else fails, you might want to consider seeing a counselor to talk through your problems with.

Spiritual Preparation

Now that you are pregnant, you probably are cutting back on what you do. This means you will have more time to deepen your relationship with God. Take it. Don’t watch movies or play games to fill the time. Read your Bible and other devotional books and spend more time in prayer. This is probably the most important thing you can do! Especially pray for the new baby.

Something else: Now is a good time to work on your bad habits. Now when you are not overwhelmed with the responsibility of a newborn, ask the Lord what areas He would have you focus on, and start creating good habits. Once something is a habit, you won’t have to think much about doing it, and that will be a blessing when the baby is born! For example, if you have created the habit of picking up your Bible or devotional book when you were too tired to do anything else, you will probably keep doing it when you sit down to nurse the baby (once you have nursing down pat, anyhow). This will make it easier to resist the temptation to turn on the TV and fill your mind with junk!

Wow! That’s a lot of things to think about. Don’t let it overwhelm you, though. Remember, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13.

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